So somebody that I consider a dear friend came to me a few weeks ago to share a project he was working on that was Smallville related. It excited me. I honestly haven’t had many conversations about the series since May 2011 that weren’t tied to finishing up SHoE 175. It was good to chat about the ins and outs of Season 11 which is being wonderfully crafted by Bryan Miller.
The project was a great idea and I wanted to find a way to help. Unfortunately, I went about it the wrong way and appeared to steal thunder instead of offering a helping hand. Talking about the series got my mind reeling for a SHoE-type discussion for this title that, I honestly feel, isn’t getting the attention it deserves for a writer who is giving it his all. As a result another close friend (and podcasting partner for life) Steve Glosson and I decided to bring SHoE back; not to capitalize on the last six years but to do what we intended to do in the beginning - sit around and talk about something we were passionate about even if no one was listening. The difference is, this time, we knew people would be listening because we weren’t starting from scratch as I did back in 2006 in the small bedroom of my old apartment. There may have been a little ego to that, “yeah, people will listen.” I don’t like thinking that way. I don’t enjoy thinking that a little arrogance might rise up every once in a while. I’ve worked hard but I haven’t moved mountains. I’ve spent my free time on air talking about things other people get paid for. It’s not ego to know that people have listened and would, hopefully, continue to if Steve and I started doing something we enjoy again in our (very, very minimal) free time. If nothing else, it’s a testament to just how good season 11 is. It makes being a fan easy. We’ve been called surrogate publicists in the past, but when it comes right down to it, I’m a fan of Smallville.
My friend is, also, a fan of Smallville. Probably more so than me. I feel like I know a lot of the show but I would honestly bow out and say he knows more. He’s a passionate fan and we both share stories where this show was there for us and helped us in difficult times of our lives, if I’m not sounding too corny. My friend was very excited about his project, and excited to share it with me. He was the shock paddles that brought SHoE back. Seeing how excited he was to be sharing something like this with the community of fans of the series really lit a fire in me to bring back SHoE and help this title grow in sales, downloads, and overall, popularity. But I took something away from my friend in the process. I came off as rude and jealous and, as I said, took some thunder away from something that hadn’t even fully got off the ground yet. It was selfish. It wasn’t meant to be, but it came across that way. And for that, I am sorry.
Now, if you’re someone I know here on Tumblr that doesn’t like Smallville or listened to SHoE, 10th Wonder, Tangent, or anything else I’ve wasted the last six years of my life doing - this all sounds pretty dumb to you, I’m sure. Maybe even a bit immature. I make no bones about how important these factors have been in my life. They don’t matter much. A television show. A radio show. People on the internet I’ve never met that have become some of my closest friends. All sounds pretty meaningless, right?
We live in a day and age where your closest friend can be someone you’ve never met. Where you can hurt the feelings of a total stranger whom you might never interact with ever again. People can hide behind computer screens, call names, destroy reputations, and even steal thunder. I say all that to say, sometimes it’s not intentional. Sometimes seeing something as simple as a website can bring new feelings and emotions to light that have been dormant for the past 14 months. I hope my friend knows that my actions over the past week were in no way meant to harm or deter from the work he has been doing. It was merely a side affect of it. SHoE wouldn’t be back if it weren’t for him. But now I’m not even sure I should keep at it, because I’m afraid it’s done damage. I curse these shows a lot - for all the good tidings it has brought me and fun times I’ve had, there’s a dark side of it as well where someone always ends up doing something wrong and getting hurt. It’s easy, in a sea of 300,000 monthly downloads, to just ignore that and move on but not when it’s in the face of a friend. So, I hope that friend knows that I’m sorry and it’s pushed me to the realization that maybe I shouldn’t even bring this show back. Who cares, really? It’s a podcast. It doesn’t matter as much as a friendship. I would love to keep at SHoE, and hopefully watch it grow with a new batch of listeners and friends - but it’s not worth hurting anyone over, whether intentional or not. As a result, you will not see a redesign of the website or Twitter. If SHoE goes on it will be audio only and be on the same familiar surroundings that the show was found at for the past several years. Anything else will be forwarded on to this other project that I hope my friend continues to work at and flourish with. He deserves some good luck. I’ve had mine already.